BUM FUN

  October 8, 2019

Anal play is not only something that I am really, really good at, but something that I love doing. Anal is my jam. In fact sometimes I prefer it to giving oral. It is like I woke up one day and thought, ‘Goddamn, I’m going to eat some bum.’ I just love that the prostate can bring a man a truly flooring orgasm. Your anus is right next door to the cock that I am already playing with; your version of a clitoris is up your bum. Of course CMQ wants in.

Anal play that even non-anal clients will love

I can give you a significant prostate-based orgasm without entering you. There. I said it.
I am a ninja in external prostate stimulation techniques, so chances are that I will be popping by for a visit when I linger on the outside, even if I don’t go in. My technique has reached the point where I don’t even have to insert my finger in there to give you intensely pleasurable orgasms. I can linger on the outside and find ways to do external stimulation. This service is a huge point of difference that I have to offer.

I guess when you have done as much rimming as I have you just keep discovering more and more about the backdoor world as it starts to open up its secrets. I have suffered chronic makeup panda eye and mascara stains from having my face up people’s cracks for over a decade now. I grew tired of popping up looking like a sexually assaulted Alice Cooper and realised that there must be a whole new way to approach bum fun.

This is also ideal for men who seize up with fear at the very thought of bum fun. Not everyone is comfortable having a sex worker enter them digitally, let alone with toys etc. I have seen the deer-in-the-headlights fear first hand. Not everyone is equipped to have someone penetrate and people aren’t built the same way. People’s sphincter area can be thicker, shallower or tighter. Psychologically there can be a complete barrier. Maybe you have ‘shy gas’ and just can’t fart in public – let alone in front of an escort. Can we just move on?

You can always trust CMQ to have a solution. If we’re not going in, there is still a whole playground of opportunities outdoors. I have my ways; I know the techniques. I’m not going to give them away in this post though bitches. Let mama make her coin and you can get your earth shattering sexual encounter. Trust and obey. You’re going to love this.

Anal’s market position

Yes, anal’s status as this niche, specialised offering has evolved a lot over the last 20 years as porn and increased sexual liberation has helped it find its place on the mainstream menu. Anal is not as niche as it used to be. But it is worth remembering that it is still incredibly niche and rare that someone who looks like me, and has the dating capability that I do in our society, is a specialist. I even have anal out there, in pride of place and labeled on my profile! I have heard the feedback. Put bluntly, lay it all out, no holds barred service tends to exist at the lower price, fugly end of the industry. Up here in the sophisticated, high end heavens, many women simply wouldn’t have the balls.

The Safety Dance

Anal is like a very rude word for trust. Allowing someone up your back passage is trust in its purest form. Every notion and action in my anal service showcases that I am a person of serious conduct and character who thinks before she acts.

I have witnessed other female sex workers performing anal play on men that is staggeringly bad; there are a lot of men that suck at it with their women too. I cannot condone people who never question their own techniques and train up. If I was a dentist, you better believe I would pass root canal class with flying colours. There is a massive responsibility that comes with anything to do with anal – whether it be tongue, fingertip, feather, dick or whatever. The muscle memory of the pain trauma can last with someone forever. It becomes the go-to for mental anguish.

That’s why I go out of my way to protect my clientele – even from themselves! If you’re very tight we are not going past a little hint of pinky finger for your first time. Even if you are gagging for it, begging, “Give me that triple meat, foot-long subway in my a-hole”, I’ll take care of business all in good time. You know when you’re really horny and speaking in tongues, out of control, everything just oozing out? Guys moan, “Take me! Give me the big one!” If you’re always clenched and a virgin back there, the dildo stays down. Just because you ask for it doesn’t mean you can handle it yet. Taking things crazy is really just a temporary symbol of your release and enormous sexual sensation of the moment. Only an amateur will take the bait. Come back later dude, we’ll continue to work it out .

This is because I genuinely care about not wrecking your exploration into anal play forever. I don’t want to be the person who originates that kind of trauma. It would really burn me. There is a campsite rule: leave people better than you found them.

When bitches need to go back to school

I have seen women digitally pierce the lining of the lower rectum because they are cluelessly rough. They are just ramming it and laughing. Arseholes! (pun intended)
To me this is technically as bad as rape. Yes it’s in a consensual space, but is it really consensual? You would not ask for this kind of experience, then someone does it anyway? Think of the elasticity of the body. Someone would have to be so ignorant that you are in fact negligent. Ignorance and anal is a horrible combo. Anal and tongue however…

In these situations, I often see that a guy is so desperate to have a great time that he doesn’t want to rock the boat. He can’t speak for himself because he feels gagged by the presence of a hot woman. So he says nothing. I step in because I can feel the pain and panic. I have taken my foot and booted a chick off a bed to save the day.

If you really, truly don’t want to do anal

Then don’t do it darling. We’re wasting time on things that bore or terrify you. Let’s spend time on something you like and are good at. There are oodles of ways to get you off. In some rare cases men also bring in the macho factor. One in a 1000 clients – always American – worry about whether trying anal calls their masculinity into question – even with my considerable cleavage up in their grill. It’s hard to flag whether they are genuinely worried about being judged or laughed at, or if playing around the edges of acceptance is the kink in itself. Who the hell knows? My fantasies take me to all kinds of magical kingdoms. You just don’t know the road map of a person’s subconscious and what they are eroticising.

When it’s your turn

There are differences between anal play women and anal play men. Different angles feel good; you enter at different times. Truth be told, barely any men know how to turn me on via anal because – and this is key – they don’t wait. The anus needs to unfurl open in its own time and in its own way, when it’s good and ready.

You need to prepare for anal. Dance at the door – otherwise it’s grit your teeth time. When a man treats my anus like it’s a vagina, it’s really boring and shuts down all the pleasurable sensation. Come to think of it, even treating my vagina like that gets a bad reaction. You don’t want a man just trying to roughly shove in like a giant troll from Harry Potter. What about me mate? If you run in I’ll put a stiletto through your head. If you waltz in? You’ve got a shot at making me moan with pleasure.

If you want the privilege of deepest anal on me, you better bring it mister. If you can’t make me enjoy it then we ain’t doing it. You have to be my lover, my boyfriend for that hour. What’s the male word for mistress? Oh yeah that’s right, there isn’t one. Right on patriarchy! Let’s just say you are my toyboy for the hour. And we will look after each other with equal A-game.

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