Media Whores and Faux Ho’s
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Anyone that knows me, works with me, fucks me or has any dealing with me knows that I am a straight shooter. I don’t bitch, moan or gossip (too many cocks, jewels and shoes, not enough time). But when something really gets on my considerable tits, I just have to speak up. I don’t do this lightly, but when shit goes down that I – and everyone else in my industry – knows is bogus, I call bullshit. Thank God I have a blog or I would be smashing plates. They’re Wedgewood, so that’s not an option.

Here’s what pisses me off: in these new, heady days of a decriminalised industry that is becoming more and more visible, adult entertainment is attracting a whole new kind of attention whore. Now I know that exaggeration and self-aggrandisement come with the territory. Clueless newbies who have dipped their toe in to sex work for five minutes tag themselves as a ‘high end escort’ or ‘one of Australia’s best escorts’. As the queen of cock who actually owns that title (refer bio), I can actually shrug that off as false advertising.

But there is a new mutation that has emerged in recent years, a type of escort slash (insert writer, IT girl etc) who is leveraging the notoriety, struggles and titillitation that surrounds this business to get attention, without really doing the hard yards of years of sex work, yet still claims to somehow be the queen of the industry. I mean, they literally don’t pleasure clients at an acceptable rate. THEY DON’T HAVE THE NUMBERS – let alone the expertise. Yet because they are ready, able and oh so willing to yak yak yak to the media and on various platforms, they have become the self-appointed representatives of my industry – while the women who have mastered this profession and are far, far more qualified remain in the shadows, away from press attention.

‘Books come and go. One has been written by a woman that I know personally and even managed back when I ran CMQ Escorts. ‘Here we go’ I thought, ‘this should be interesting.’ I hope they will be stocking it in the fiction section of bookstores because the heroine in this autobiography is an avatar, unrecognisable from the woman that I and many others have experienced in real life. Sorry kids, I am not going to mention names.

Positioning herself as a grand dame of the industry, our narrator describes how she is killing it at sex work, has realms and realms of experience, is empowering women blah blah blah. Interesting, because I remember someone who was a riproaring boozehound who treated everyone in the female-run office like shit. And if this chick blew clients as often as she blew bookings she would own buildings in the CBD. She was my most unreliable escort who would screw up bookings; we are talking all the time.

In general, the kind of fame whore who is attracted to the decriminalised and increasingly visible ambience of the industry, and is dying to put pen to paper to get famous, shares certain definable characteristics.

  • In reality they do a scant amount of sex work. I have seen this first hand when I have been on bookings with these high profile ladies. They chat, charm, egg the client on to call a dealer, stay way past their booking time to talk about themselves, but they don’t get within sniffing distance of the client’s dick. For hours at a time! They are getting off on the narcissistic exercise of waltzing around in lingerie and being the centre of attention. They are not there to provide service and know jack shit about sucking cock.

Fine. Cool. Be a diva. But for the love of all things holy, don’t start referring to yourself as the country’s ultimate escort. It’s bogus and rude.

  • These ladies tend to be alcoholics. Every. Single. Time. That’s probably why they never achieved their much desired fame through other professions, because they either didn’t have the talent or work ethic to get there. They drink themselves to oblivion before doing a booking. I’ve seen it myself. There is the whole addictive personality drama that comes with booze and drugs, which means they are lying to us and to themselves. Of course, they happily put pen to paper about how they prefer a good book or walk on the beach to partying, even though I have seen them snort off that plate like it’s 1985 for hours at a time. Hilarious.
  • They say all the right things. A great escort knows how to put on a show, but these ladies play act even when they’re not on the clock. They are good at masquerading that they care about the adult industry, even though they couldn’t give a shit about the job. For me the telltale sign is when they start gushing to me, “Oh Christine I really respect you.” Uh oh. For me, that is the clanger: I know I am sitting down with an enemy who is quietly, calmly out to destroy the business oasis I have spent time creating for myself.
  • They hate what they do. It is really irresponsible and inauthentic of them to be going on about how great it is. One woman who writes that it is a wonderful, empowering job and has built a reputation on being a visible escort has literally told me that she wants to vomit at the mere thought of her clients.

I am fuming. These women are charlatans, fakers and users, but they are not sex workers.

How do they get away with it? How can they pull the wool over the eyes of the world and the media for so long? Well, the bar is set really, really low. The media want quick fix, gimmicky quotes and the sex industry is desperate for any kind of press that it can get, so they suck it all up with a smile. I am sick of the communuity accepting this and, frankly, the clients. I have had to commiserate with the boys who have paid out 5k for an all-nighter then watched one of these fake arse bitches hog the coke, not let even me, let alone him, fuck her, then leave. Boys, it’s time to stand up when they start boasting about their sex goddess status.

Any bitch can lie back like a starfish and spread her legs. Real escorts know how to drive a man wild with desire, then satisfy it beyond their filthiest dreams. They have nothing to prove, and don’t need attention from the media to be considered an expert in their field. Meet this other breed: hardcore media whores who are out there right now actually faking their work history, clean making shit up as they go along! Alas, they see themselves as industry representatives by telling their stories. Because they are so vocal they are now shaping our narrative, which is crazy.

When I ran my own escort agency CMQ Escorts I learned how rare a truly good (let alone great) escort really is. A lot of women wanted to be in the inner sanctum and join me at the top level of the industry, with the best clientele, but without actually doing the work or being coachable and learning the trade. One faker copied my entire business model, then launched with no experience, admin training or savvy about security. She was running people around town without proper security measures in place, compromising the safety of the women. Because she also imitated a lot of what I did right, she had a head start. Fine, but the audacity and the shamelessness of not giving me credit really pisses me off. When someone acts as my mentor, I acknowledge them. It’s business acumen 101.

So, the circus goes on. These fake escorts boast about counterfeit checks for a huge amount, exaggerate their accomplishments and take the credit for other people’s ingenuity and hard work. The financial maturity and models of human behaviour that are the backbone of many communities is sorely lacking in this one. Concern about the conduct of charlatans is at a minimum, because their BS sells papers.

So what do I do? I just continue to rock and roll. I understand that I am a maverick and will be imitated. My skills, drive and creativity got me to the top and I have figured out how to stay there (it’s called DELIVERING TO CLIENTS BITCHES. GET USED TO IT). So I guess I am here to pave a river of gold for these imitators. They can polish the turd and roll it in disco glitter in my wake.

The media may continue to not distinguish properly between a sex worker media and a fame whore. Women may leverage the curiosity and fantasy that surrounds the world of adult entertainment. But are we so dumb that were going to tolerate this? I am done staying quiet while these fake arse bitches tap into their teritary educations and narcissism on the

back of real sex workers. We certainly don’t need them to stand up for us. You may have held the industry hostage, but I do not suffer Stockolm syndrome and can see you and call you out for what you are. Ladies, you are on notice.